Belief

How can you tell what it is
I believe?

Is it when these words
spill from my tongue
or drip from my pen?

How often must I act on a truth
in order to really believe it?

If I told you that this
this life with Christ,
it is worth giving up everything...

how many days would I have to give it up
to lay it all at his feet
until you believed me
until we all knew it was true?

If I proclaimed myself
a daughter of the King,
how many steps would I have to take
with head held high, the posture of a princess
until I assumed that identity...
in your eyes
and mine?

This gospel is so unbelievable
because even those of us who believe it
we aren't quite convinced.

This is not because it isn't true
it is because it is.

I'm not sure how to make this make sense
to me-
to you.

Words (per usual) fail me,
but I will try.

I know it's worth it.
I've experienced enough to know it's worth it.
I can't leave it alone.
I can't live without it.
I can't just walk away.

But I haven't experienced it enough
that it's the first thought each morning.
I still have to find it each day,
to fight for it each moment.

It is as though
the deepest part of my heart
is completely sold
believes without question...

but the layers towards the surface
only know the whispers of truth

and each day,
I begin on the surface
and must dig my way to the center

to the gospel
to the love
to my true identity
to God.

I believe, I believe, I believe
somewhere in the depths of my being
I know that:
we are beautiful
we are loved
we are made for more
there are good things coming
the best thing has already happened
and is also now coming to pass
we are strong (in Him)
we fight courageously
and yet the battle is won.

This is Kingdom.

Each day, it grows closer
(that which I believe)

and so I wake, grab a shovel
and start to bore a tunnel to truth

Won't you join me?